MURDER AT GLENRIDGE! Some may think the chirping of a cricket a cheerful sound but Mr. Sewell is all agin' them. He says they distract his new Algebra students from their equations. So . . . Mr. S. plus D.D.T equals ...No C!

MISS ADAMS QUAKES -- MEXICO SHAKES! None of us at Glenridge want to believe our favorite Spanish teacher was entirely responsible for Mexico being "all shook up" this summer. But the fact is she WAS there when Mother Nature decided to revolt. Miss Adams says it was a terrifying experience. Even worse than being caught in the Main Hall during class break. That's hard to believe!

If anyone hears Mr. Bensen complaining about our Florida heat just say, "Malone" and watch him shiver. Malone, New York is the deep freeze town Mr. Bensen hails from. The mercury plunged to a low of 45 degrees there last winter. When the Bensen brains finally defrosted he made a very wise decision -- to join Glenridge's faculty. Welcome to Florida, Mr. B, we're glad to have you!

Who says the SEVENTH GRADERS don't know the ropes? The second day in school one whole section managed to eat both lunch shifts. They thought they never had it so good until Miss Shiver informed them they'd have to be contented to gulp and get to the next class with the rest of us.

WORKING THEIR WAY THROUGH GLENRIDGE? We've heard that rodents were some of the smarter mammals. Now Mr. Vickers and 7-4 can prove it. A whole family of the gnawing creatures have set up residence in room 11's P.A. system, from which point they tune in on all announcements from the FRONT OFFICE.

Did you know JOHN SIMPSON'S dad won the Hamiltonion at Duquoin, Ill.? He was driving Hickory Smoke, who was trained last winter at Ben White's raceway. Incidentally, those of you who have never watched a sulky race will get a big bang out of seeing some of the trial runs at Ben White's.

WE HAVE AT GLENRIDGE A SEVENTH GRADE girl just recently arrived from Hungary....Emoke Papp. Emoke is learning our language, and our American ways along with a regular academic schedule. We don't think she could have chosen a happier spot for this experience. Welcome to the best school in the best land, Emoke!

Confucius said: "To be able to speak in many languages is valuable, but to be able to keep quiet in one is priceless."

MOTHER: How are your marks this month?
JACKIE B.: They're under water.
MOTHER: What do you mean?
JACKIE B.: Below C level.

DEAN BLAND, HEAD OF GLENRIDGE'S BOOK COMMITTEE claims that 8,000 books will be used by Glenridge students this year. All of which will cost the state about $15,000. I know this is breaking your hearts.